How do you manage stress?
Well, darling, if I ever discover a way to eliminate stress entirely, I shall write a book, sell the film rights, and retire somewhere with excellent coffee.
Until then, I muddle through like the rest of humanity.
I’ve learned that one of the worst things I can do when I’m stressed is to convince myself that absolutely everything needs dealing with right now.
The unanswered message.
The unfinished job.
The thing somebody said yesterday that I really should have forgotten about by now.
And that little voice in my head helpfully reminding me of twelve other things I haven’t done yet.
Good heavens. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.
So, the first thing I try to do is stop for a moment.
Not solve everything. Not produce an elaborate plan for reorganising my entire existence.
Just stop.
Take a breath, make a cup of tea, and ask myself a rather useful question:
”What actually needs my attention right now?”
Because not everything that feels urgent is important.
Some things genuinely need doing today. Others can wait until tomorrow. And a few things, if I’m being entirely honest, probably don’t need doing at all.
I’ve also learned to distinguish between what I can influence and what I cannot.
I cannot control what somebody else thinks of me.
I cannot rewrite yesterday’s conversation.
I cannot make every person happy, prevent every disappointment, or guarantee that everything will turn out exactly as I’d hoped.
I can, however, decide how I respond.
And sometimes that means stepping away from a situation until I’ve had time to think clearly. There’s no particular virtue in responding immediately if the response is going to make everything worse.
A little distance can be remarkably useful.
So can movement.
A walk, a favourite song, or a little dancing around the kitchen can help me get out of my own head for a while.
And if Glenn Miller happens to be playing, well, that’s hardly going to make the situation worse.
Although I make no medical claims for the therapeutic properties of big-band music.
But perhaps the most important lesson I’ve learned is that I don’t have to carry everything alone.
Sometimes you need to talk to somebody.
Sometimes you need practical help.
And sometimes you simply need to admit that you’re tired and that today isn’t the day you’re going to conquer the world.
There’s no shame in that.
We all have our limits, darling. Pretending otherwise doesn’t make us stronger. It just makes us exhausted.
And here’s something else I try to remember.
Not every battle deserves a piece of my peace.
Some things need confronting. Some things need changing. And some things are best left behind while we get on with living.
Learning the difference takes practice.
I’m still practising.
So, how do I manage stress?
One thing at a time.
One decision at a time.
A little perspective, a little movement, a little help from the people I trust.
And, when necessary, a cup of tea strong enough to stand a spoon in.
Because the world will still be there tomorrow, darling.
And I’d rather meet it with a clear head than spend all night arguing with it in my imagination.
Stay Fabulous,
Luce 💋
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