Don’t Spend Your Life Trying to Be Someone Else’s Version of You

What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?

If I could give one piece of advice to someone younger than me, I think I’d say:

Don’t spend too much of your life trying to become the person you think everyone else wants you to be.

I know.

It sounds terribly obvious.

It isn’t.

When we’re young, we’re surrounded by opinions.

Parents tell us what is sensible.

Teachers tell us what we’re good at.

Friends tell us what is cool.

Society quietly tells us what we’re supposed to look like, sound like, want and become.

And somewhere along the way, it’s remarkably easy to lose track of the little voice inside saying:

But what do I actually want?

So I’d tell them to listen to that voice.

Not every whim, obviously. Sometimes the little voice is simply telling you to buy shoes you absolutely cannot afford.

But the deeper one.

The one that tells you when something doesn’t feel right.

The one that makes you curious.

The one that gets excited about something nobody else understands.

The one that whispers, “Maybe I could…”

Listen to it.

You’ll make mistakes.

Good heavens, you absolutely will.

You’ll choose the wrong people sometimes. You’ll say the wrong thing. You’ll take the wrong turn. You’ll make decisions that you’ll look back on years later and wonder what on earth you were thinking.

That’s called living.

Don’t let the fear of getting it wrong stop you from moving.

And don’t confuse being kind with being a doormat.

You can be generous and still have boundaries.

You can disagree without being cruel.

You can walk away without hating someone.

You can change your mind.

You can apologise.

You can start again.

And please, don’t spend your twenties worrying that you’re already behind.

There is no universal timetable for becoming yourself.

Some people find their direction at twenty.

Some at forty.

Some of us apparently require considerably more rehearsal.

The important thing isn’t arriving at some imaginary finish line.

It’s making sure that when you look back, you recognise the person who walked the road.

So that’s my advice.

Be kind. Stay curious. Make mistakes. Choose your people carefully.

And whatever you do…

don’t make yourself smaller just because someone else is uncomfortable with your size.

The world already has enough people trying to fit into boxes.

Be the person who brings a bigger chair.

There’s usually room for one more.

Stay Fabulous,
Luce 💋