The Rule I Decided Not to Keep

What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?

What’s something I do completely differently from how I was raised?

I talk about things.

Feelings. Difficult conversations. Things that hurt. Things that make me angry. Things I don’t understand.

I think a lot of us were taught, in one way or another, to keep the peace.

Don’t make a fuss.

Don’t talk back.

Be nice.

Get over it.

And there’s nothing wrong with kindness or learning to compromise.

But there is a difference between keeping the peace and keeping quiet.

I’ve learned that one the hard way.

Because when you’re little, you learn your role.

Maybe you’re the good child.

Maybe you’re the responsible one.

Maybe you’re the peacemaker.

Maybe you’re the one who never causes trouble.

And if you’re very good at playing that role, everyone becomes comfortable with it.

Including you.

Until one day you realise you’re an adult still behaving according to rules you never consciously agreed to.

So I’ve tried to change that.

If something bothers me, I try to say it.

If someone hurts me, I try to tell them.

If I disagree, I can disagree without making it a war.

And if someone tells me I’m wrong?

Well…

I might even listen.

I don’t think breaking away from how we were raised means rejecting everything our parents taught us.

Some of the things we were given are worth keeping.

But we’re allowed to examine the rest.

We’re allowed to say:

“That worked for the child I was. It doesn’t work for the adult I’ve become.”

And perhaps that’s one of the quiet privileges of growing up.

We get to decide which lessons become our values…

and which ones become history.

Stay fabulous,
Luce 💋