The Posh Paw Blog

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

If I could make my pet understand just one thing, it would be this:

You are not in charge of the house, darling.

Despite your very strong opinions on where I’m allowed to sit, what time we all go to bed, and how suspicious the postman is looking today—there is a hierarchy. A system. A pecking order. One that does not begin with you and end with the rest of us, trailing behind like badly trained butlers.

And yet… there she is. Curled into the very centre of the sofa like she owns the place (because, well, she kind of does). Tail flicking with the precision of a seasoned matriarch. Side-eye that could slice through steel. And heaven forbid someone tries to move her off her cushion.

Every day, I tell her—patiently, lovingly, with all the firmness of a woman who knows she’s losing the battle—that I need space. Just a bit of sofa. Just a sliver. But she glances at me like I’m being unreasonable. Like I should be grateful to even share oxygen with her.

The funny part? She was never supposed to be mine. She was supposed to be a “temporary foster.” You know, just until we found her a forever home. We did. It’s mine. The paperwork says so. The attitude says otherwise.

Mum calls her “the Duchess.” Dad refers to her as “that little bossy one.” Frank says, “She reminds me of my third landlady.” (We didn’t ask for details.) And every time Clive comes round, he brings ham—not for me, but for her, because, in his words, “she looks like the sort that keeps grudges.”

She does.

If I could make her understand anything, it wouldn’t be about shoes or clawing the armchair or not waking me up at 5:12 a.m. to discuss breakfast options. No. It would be this:

You are loved. Fiercely. Totally. Unapologetically. Even when you snub me. Even when you drape yourself across my laptop mid-sentence. Even when you steal my socks. You are safe here, with me. Forever.

But if she could understand that, I suspect she’d simply blink once, yawn with disdain, and proceed to steal my seat again.

Stay fabulous,
Luce 💋